


Wire & Ribbons

by theundeadsiren (rhoen)



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 12:24:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5334011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/theundeadsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rick and Kieren didn't grow up together - the first time they meet is when Rick goes into the arts & crafts shop Kieren works at, and it goes from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wire & Ribbons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [squash1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/squash1/gifts).



> This spiralled completely out of control, I'm so sorry. I don't even know if it fits the prompt, but when you get 1.2k words in, there's nowhere to go but down. I can't apologise enough D:
> 
> (Also, un-beta'd, and moving fics from docs to AO3 can be ugly, so sorry if anything is weird happens, or if I didn't pick up on everything that should have been edited. I have to paste docs -> notepad -> AO3, so lose italics and bold. If random words ARE IN CAPS they're... yeah... supposed to be italics... *sigh*)
> 
> For mild content warnings, see end note.

**You may not take this fic and edit or reupload it - in whole or in part - without my express permission. This includes translations.**

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Thank you for respecting my wishes.

* * *

 

Kieren looked up as the bell above the shop door chimed, somewhat startled. It had been a slow day, and as a result he was slowly sorting through the copic markers to try and kill time, his mind elsewhere as he systematically ensured that all of the pens were all the same way round and that no colour was where it didn’t belong. A tall, rather handsome man around Kieren’s age stood in the doorway, his slight uncertainty instantly identifying him as someone who was new to visiting arts and crafts shops. Kieren gave him a polite customer service smile.

“Good afternoon,” he welcomed. The guy clearly hadn’t expected a greeting, and regarded Kieren with surprise for a moment, before a breathtaking smile lit up his face, far more genuine than the near grimace Kieren had offered.

“Hey,” the guy said, sounding far more confident than he looked. After a moment his eyes shifted away from Kieren as he glanced at the shop and what it offered, and before Kieren could offer any assistance, he’d started walking towards the furthest end of the store, his head down and cheeks flushing from the heat of the shop. Kieren watched him go, habitually trying to predict what the guy was after. Perhaps he’d been sent by a girlfriend to get card making materials, or to look for some fancy wrapping paper, although those weren’t down the aisle the guy had chosen. Best sellers in November and December were card making kits and materials, as well as metallic pens. If Kieren stayed where he was, maybe the guy would come over to the pens section and he could get a better look at him…

It really had been a slow day. Sighing to himself, Kieren turned back to the copic markers, and decided the job was done enough for now. Moving one stray purple away from the turquoise, he went back to the till, neatening up already perfectly placed fliers for local exhibitions, craft fairs, and workshops. A glance out of the window showed him a darkening sky threatening snow. The people hurrying past were wrapped up tightly in jackets and scarves, and clearly had better places to be than the freezing high street on a late Sunday afternoon.

From where he was, Kieren turned to watch what the guy was doing. It was rude to stare, but the customer was giving the two tins of spray paint in his hands his undivided attention, and clearly didn’t realise Kieren was admiring him, so he felt free to look - for a few seconds at least. There was a certain look to most artists, and this guy really didn’t have it, but he shared something similar and now seemed relaxed, even casually flicking the can he eventually decided on into the air, making it spin several times before he deftly caught it. Kieren found himself smiling at the display, caught between thinking the guy was a bit of a show-off and enjoying watching the dexterity. If Kieren tried that he’d stub his fingers and drop the can, no doubt somehow bringing a shelf or two down as well.

The guy slowly moved towards the end of the aisle, perusing the paints and varnishes as he went. His fingers traced over and tapped at price labels as he considered them, before he pulled out whatever random can of paint, varnish, or finisher he was contemplating, angling it to read the label or instructions. He seemed so deeply lost in thought that Kieren was startled when he sighed visibly and looked up, directly at Kieren.

Even from the distance of a few metres Kieren felt a jolt tear through him, immediately followed by a flush of embarrassment. The guy’s gaze felt so intense and so perceptive, making Kieren look away hastily, flustered. He didn’t want the guy to know that he’d been watching him, and as he pulled his sketchbook from the under-the-counter shelf and bussied himself with it, trying hard to make it look like he hadn’t been staring, Kieren told himself that, no, he had definitely _not_ been thinking about the fingers which gently toyed with products and labels undoing jacket fastenings instead.

It took all his effort not to slump against the counter when the guy disappeared round the end of the aisle. Kieren was aware of him in his periphery, but didn’t have the courage to look up. He deflated in a moment of annoyance and self-criticism. Trust him to stop functioning like a normal human being the second a vaguely attractive customer came into the shop. All the guy had done was smile, and Kieren instantly developed a full-blown crush. He clearly needed to get out more.

A few minutes later, Kieren looked up as the guy approached, a handful of items in his arm. The guy looked down as he dumped his load on the counter, avoiding Kieren’s gaze. The spray paint had been joined by two tools, a few packets of blue, copper and silver 2mm wire, and some ribbon. While the tools were for working the wire, Kieren could only guess at what the paint and ribbon were for.

“Did you find everything?” he asked automatically, reaching for the nearest item. His gaze flickered upwards, and, for a brief moment as he unintentionally made eyecontact, the most confusing emotions flickered across the guy’s face, as if he were struggling with Kieren’s question.

The customer’s lips twitched upwards in a tense smile. “Yeah, thanks.”

Kieren went back to his work, trying not to think anything of the contradictory young man standing opposite him; the contradictory _handsome_ young man, whose eyes were searching for the nametag on Kieren’s chest, which wasn’t there - it wasn’t compulsory so Kieren never wore one.

 _Maybe he knew I was staring_ , Kieren worried, ringing up the total and announcing it to the guy. _Maybe he can tell I’m into him and he’s freaked. Maybe he thinks I’m a creep. Oh god, he thinks I’m stupid._

Almost at the end of the transaction, Kieren desperately hoped that the guy didn’t notice the way his hand trembled when he tore off the receipt from the card machine and handed it over.

_He knows I’m a useless failure._

“Have a nice day,” he said lamely, fighting to give the obligatory smile. It didn’t matter that it didn’t quite happen, because the guy was already turning away as he stuffed the receipt into the bag Kieren had packed his things into, clearly having somewhere better to be.

“Yeah, thanks,” the guy mumbled.

Kieren watched, feeling a little lost and disappointed, and more than a little frustrated with himself, as the guy left. For several seconds after he’d gone, Kieren stared at the door, and then turned away with a short, dry laugh.

 _Well that relationship went well_ , he surmised, leaving the counter and returning to the copic markers. It was pathetic, really, but the closest thing to a relationship he’d ever had were the very one-sided crushes he sometimes developed on customers, which lasted no more than two minutes past the person walking out the door. Often it was just because someone was beautiful, and Kieren never wanted to do more than just look. But the wires-and-ribbon guy? Kieren bit his lip as he remembered the bright, open smile and the jolt of electricity which had hit him from nearly the other side of the shop. That was almost definitely new.

But there was no future in it, so by the time he’d closed the shop, sorted the takings, and cleaned up, Kieren had pushed the guy almost completely from his mind.

-

Kieren could do nothing but blink in shock, staring up at the guy waiting in front of the counter. There had been two customers waiting to be served before him - there was something about Wednesday afternoons Kieren had yet to understand - so Kieren hadn’t seen him come in, and definitely wasn’t prepared for the tentative smile he was given by a guy far too handsome to really exist, or for the captivating hazel eyes that locked on his own.

It was Sunday afternoon all over again, and for a moment Kieren completely forgot himself.

“Hey,” the guy said casually, as if he hadn’t noticed the effect he was having on Kieren.

Kieren looked at the counter, searching for something to busy himself with, but there was nothing. “Do you need a hand with anything?”

The guy looked nervous. He was doing his best to keep his smile in place, but was clearly apprehensive about something. It confused Kieren no end, and he thought perhaps the guy was going to return an item, or complain, but as he glanced over the guy’s well-built frame looking for a clue as to what the matter might be, he found nothing, only that the guy was wearing shirt and jacket beneath the undone coat, and had a smudge of ink on his hand, giving the impression that he’d just come from whatever job he had. Something didn’t quite fit with the idea of him being a businessman.

“Oh, no, I’m okay, thanks…” The guy started, tailing off as he brought his hand up to rub the back of his neck. “I just, uh…”

He half turned, checking to see how close the nearest other customer was, and then let his arm drop with a barely concealed sigh.

“I was in a bit of a rush the other day, sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Kieren shrugged, not quite understanding what was being said.

“I wanted to, uhm… I wondered…”

Whatever the guy was struggling with, it was making his cheeks colour, which had the curious effect of causing Kieren to blush too. After a few more seconds of trying to get the words out, the guy shook his head and sighed again, perhaps frustrated with himself.

“Look, I don’t know what time you finish, and I know this is totally out of line and probably totally inappropriate, and I know we’re pretty much complete strangers, but I wondered if you’d like to go grab a drink or something?”

Kieren took several long seconds to try and understand what had just been asked of him, and to work out how to reply. His heart thudded loudly in his chest, breath catching in his throat as the words slowly filtered through his brain.

_Did he just ask me out on a date?_

“Drinks? Like, coffee, or in a pub, or…?”

_Was he worked up over asking me out on a date?_

“Yeah, sure. I mean, anything you like. And it doesn’t have to be now, we could do it some other time or- ”

“Coffee’s great!”

Kieren interrupted him in a rush, suddenly feeling almost giddy. Opposite him, the guy visibly relaxed, a breathtaking smile breaking out, and it made Kieren smile too, his stomach in knots while his heart beat even more erratically. Things like this just didn’t happen to him.

_He came back to ask me out on a date?_

“The shop closes at half five,” he supplied. “Although it usually takes me until six to finish. I could… I don’t mind today, if you’re free later?”

 _He really has the most incredible eyes. And smile,_ Kieren thought.

“Yeah, I am. How about ten past six, Costa?”

“Yeah.”

It was such a small word, but it something fell into place in that moment. Kieren wasn’t entirely sure what it was yet, but it felt exhilarating.

“Uhm, do you have any paper?” the guy asked, shifting to rummage through his own pockets. He came up short, but Kieren reached for the till and made it spit out some receipt roll. He handed a pen over too.

“Here.”

He watched as the guy took it, his fingers brushing against Kieren’s for the briefest of moments as the pen changed hands, causing electricity to tingle against his skin. A number was written down, followed by the guy’s name: Rick.

Pushing the paper and pen towards Kieren, the guy gave another smile, although this time uncertainty clouded his expression. “Just in case something comes up and you’re running late or can’t make it.”

Kieren was planning on starting to pack up in the next two minutes, waiting for twenty past five be damned.

“I’ll let you know if it does,” he promised. He double-checked the name on the paper again, before looking directly at the guy and softly, tentatively, tagging it on the end: “Rick.”

Kieren couldn’t describe how Rick’s smile at the use of his name made him feel. It was nothing short of wonderful, but also amazing that something so simple could have such an effect on the guy.

Whatever would have followed next, Kieren wasn’t sure, as another customer approached the till. Both he and Rick noticed, and Rick shifted his weight from one foot to the other, rubbing the back of his neck again, his smile only fading a little.

“I, uh, I’d better go,” he said.

“Okay,” Kieren nodded reluctantly, taking the slip of paper and folding it carefully. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, see you.”

And then he was gone. Kieren watched him leave, unable to help grinning when Rick turned at the door and gave him one last look. When he turned his attention to the waiting customer, he felt a little guilty.

“Thank you for waiting,” he said, more impatient than he’d ever been for the day to be over, despite his good mood. “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

-

Kieren was early leaving the shop. He was pretty sure he’d set a new record for cleaning up and sorting the takings. Costa was on the other side of the same street, just a little further up - it would take him thirty seconds to get there - so he found himself standing at the door, nearly all the lights off, trying to work out how early he was allowed to be. Too early and he might come across as desperate and quite pathetic - things he knew he was, but didn’t want Rick to realise just yet - but standing around and waiting was almost unbearable. He’d dug out the receipt roll with Rick’s name on it, and was fiddling with it, opening it to read the name and number for the umpteenth time. He thought it would jinx the whole thing if he put the guy’s number in his phone.

Just before five past, by his phone, Kieren gave up waiting. Opening the door, he stepped out into the freezing December air, turning of the lights and locking the door behind him. He’d slowly worked himself up to the point where his stomach was in knots, and as he walked towards the coffee shop he tried to calm himself. There wasn’t anything to be nervous about. It was just coffee. With a guy. A really attractive guy, who had, somehow, noticed Kieren.

An earlier fear that it was a cruel joke resurfaced, and Kieren’s pace faltered. He didn’t know how to allay the fear, and the option of turning on his heels and marching in the other direction was suddenly very, very tempting. Things like this didn’t happen to him. And besides, Kieren was a coward. It wouldn’t be the first thing he’d given up on.

About to turn, Kieren remembered Rick’s smile, and how genuine it had been. It made him pause. If he turned around now, he wouldn’t get a chance to see it again. If the guy was sincere about wanting to see Kieren, he’d be standing him up. He let him down. Kieren didn’t think he could do that.

Taking a step towards Costa, Kieren resolved to call the guy a ‘fucking bastard’ to his face if he was just making fun of him. And maybe throw coffee at him. That sounded like an acceptable compromise if the guy turned out to be an asshole.

Rick didn’t seem to be anything of the sort. He was waiting for Kieren outside Costa, and stepped forwards with a huge grin when he caught sight of him. Kieren’s heart was instantly in his mouth, the nervousness in his stomach worsening. He didn’t know what to say, or to do.

“Hey!” Rick greeted. “How was work?”

Normal conversation. Small talk. Kieren could do that. He almost sighed with relief. “It was pretty busy. Guess it’s a Christmas thing.”

Rick nodded as Kieren drew along side him. “Town’s certainly busy. Still up for a drink?”

Kieren nodded, his gaze running appraisingly over Rick’s body. The guy was still every bit as attractive as Kieren remembered, and although they were the same height, Kieren felt smaller at his side. Rick’s hands were now free from the smudges of ink that had been on them earlier, and were slightly red from the cold. He held the door open for Kieren, which made him smile.  
“Thanks,” he mumbled.

They joined the queue, Rick looking intently at the menu for a moment. Kieren got the impression that he didn’t order at coffee shops very often. “Would you like something to eat as well?” he asked, looking sideways at Kieren and then examining the array of cakes and biscuits in the display.

“No, I’m good, thanks,” Kieren said politely, wondering if the question meant Rick was paying for them both. Rick gave him another glance.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“I really don’t mind,” Rick insisted.

Kieren looked down, shrugging. “Perhaps some caramel shortbread then.”

Kieren wasn’t good at accepting offers, even from his own parents. He fell silent, listening to the noise of the coffee machine, background chatter, and clatter of cups on plates. It was busy, and looking around as they shuffled forwards in the queue, he wondered where they might sit.

“You know, you never told me your name.”

Kieren looked back round at Rick, and wondered how the guy could always find a smile, no matter how subtle.

“Oh,” Kieren managed. “It’s Kieren.”

“I like it. It suits you,” Rick complimented. Kieren couldn’t say why, but it made him blush and look away. It was an ordinary, boring name for an ordinary, boring person, but Rick was acting as if it was something special.

A moment later, it was their turn to be served. Rick greeted the barista cordially, but turned to Kieren when asked what drinks they were having.

“Medium gingerbread latte, please,” Kieren supplied, talking to the tired looking girl serving them.

“Make that two, please,” Rick added. “And can we get a slice of caramel shortbread and chocolate cake as well please?”

“And is that to sit in or take away?”

Rick was thrown by the question, and paused in the middle of digging his wallet out, turning to Kieren for support.

“What do you want to do?”

“I’m okay with either.”

“Sitting in then, please,” Rick decided, opening his wallet and pulling out a crisp twenty pound note. He paid, giving the girl serving them a warm smile that for some reason made Kieren feel a little jealous - especially when it was returned. Kieren tried not to think about it as they were given a tray and their cake, and moved along to wait for the drinks.

“I’ve never been in here before,” Rick admitted as they waited.

“I come in here quite a bit,” Kieren said, “Usually when it’s quieter.”

Rick gave a rueful smile. “Yeah, sorry. Could have picked a quieter time.”

“I don’t mind,” Kieren insisted. It made Rick relax visibly, and as they were passed their drinks, they turned towards the seating. A table by the window had recently been vacated, and Kieren started walking towards it, Rick following. They sat down opposite each other after tugging off their jackets and took a drink each, which gave Kieren another chance to take in Rick’s appearance, and he blushed slightly as he realised Rick was doing the same. Kind hazel eyes ran appreciatively over him, a smile tugging at the corners of Rick’s mouth. He certainly didn’t feel worth of the approving attention.

“This isn’t a dare or something, is it?” Kieren suddenly blurted out.

“No?” Rick said, sounding confused. He frowned a little, and then shrugged. “Well, I suppose it sort of is - not like that, though. I just… I wanted to ask you on Sunday, but kinda chickened out at the last minute.” His focus had shifted away, and he was looking out the window, but his attention shifted back to Kieren as he continued to explain himself. “I just told myself it was better to come back and ask and actually find out, rather than sit at home and wonder, so… here I am.”

He gave an uncertain smile again, as if worried his explanation came across as pathetic. Even if it had, the look in his eyes would have made Kieren forgive him. The guy was completely genuine.

“But why?” Kieren asked, unable to stop his mouth running away from him.

“You seem like a really nice guy.”

Kieren snorted, looking down. He didn’t even apologise for his reaction. He wasn’t a nice person at all. “Right,” he muttered.

“No, really,” Rick insisted. “I mean, shall I be completely honest?”

Kieren wasn’t sure what to say. Nervously, he responded. “Uh, okay?”

“Just tell me to shut up or get lost if I go too far, but… I thought you looked a bit lonely.”

Well Kieren had been alone in the shop on Sunday, but that wasn’t what Rick was talking about. Kieren looked away. He wasn’t sure how a complete stranger had been able to read him so clearly. A deep ache opened up in his chest at the truth of Rick’s words.

“When I first went into the shop, I thought you were really… well, good-looking. I kinda wanted to show off.” Rick laughed at himself. “But when it came to talking to you… I saw your sketchbook. I really wanted to say something, but I didn’t know what. I sort of didn’t know if you’d want me to say anything either. Stupid, I know. I’m sorry.”

Kieren poked at his caramel shortbread, his stomach too tense for him to try a mouthful. “How could you tell?”

Rick was rotating his glass, clearly unsure of himself. “Sometimes you just can. I don’t think it’s obvious though. I couldn’t even tell you exactly what gave me that impression.”

Kieren wasn’t sure what to say, and kept quiet, his eyes down on the table. The couple closest to them were discussing how to handle the drunken sister who they couldn’t stop from turning up at the family Christmas meal, and for a moment he let the ambient sounds of the coffee shop wash over him, trying to forget his own unease.

“You must hear this all the time, but you’re art is amazing” Rick said, interrupting Kieren’s distraction from the conversation. Kieren looked up at Rick for a brief second, and then looked away again, unable to handle the kindness. After several more seconds of silence, he heard Rick sigh.

“I’m really sorry Kieren, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s okay,” Kieren said automatically. A moment later, he realised that he believed his own words - Rick was only being honest. It was just the fact that it left Kieren feeling so vulnerable that had shaken him. Looking up, he struggled to find dry smile. “Does this mean I’m a charity Christmas case?”

Rick actually winced. “No! Oh god, please don’t think that.”

“Okay, I won’t,” Kieren agreed, having only been half joking. He picked up his caramel shortbread, but paused before taking a bite, tilting his head slightly as he regarded Rick. “How did you know I was into guys?”

“I didn’t.”

Kieren’s eyes widened, and he chewed the small mouthful he’d taken carefully. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

Kieren was impressed. “You’re brave.”

“Hm, not really,” Rick dismissed. “Anyway, it turns out it was worth it.”

Kieren didn’t see how coffee with him could be worth it, and gave Rick a look that told him as much.

“I think you’re too hard on yourself, Kieren,” Rick said gently.

“You don’t know me, though,” Kieren pointed out.

“I know, but I’d like to.”

Kieren couldn’t understand it. He asked the only thing that filled his head: “why?”

Rick leant forwards, leaning on the table. His hand slowly reached for Kieren’s, resting gently on top and doing nothing more. “I know a good person when I see one.” He gave a smile, shifting the mood slightly. “Plus you’re gorgeous.”

Completely flustered, Kieren just sat there, staring. Rick pulled his hand back, and took a sip of his own coffee.

“Woah, this tastes good,” he said, looking surprised. “I’m used to that cheap instant stuff. No wonder you come here often.”

Kieren was struggling to keep up with the conversation. He looked at his own latte.

“Yeah, it’s worth it,” he replied automatically. Rick was fidgeting slightly, looking like he was aware of Kieren’s unease.

“So, is there anything you’d like to know about me? Anything at all? I mean, do you want to get to know me too?”

How someone so honest and sincere could be so unsure of themselves almost made Kieren laugh. The apprehension in Rick’s question was obvious. It made Kieren feel better, and a rush of warmth towards Rick filled him. The guy was insecure too. Despite his seemingly confident words, he was just as unsure. He didn’t know if Kieren liked him back. He wanted Kieren to like him back.

“Yeah, I do,” Kieren admitted a little breathlessly. He looked up from beneath his lashes, trying to get the situation to sink in, which wasn’t happening. How had this happened again? “So, uh, what do you do for a living?”

“I teach at QES.”

The shirt and black trousers, as well as early afternoon appearance in the shop, suddenly made sense, as did the smudge of ink that had been on Rick’s hand earlier. Kieren’s interest was instantly piqued - he hadn’t considered the career as an option for this guy, and instantly tried to guess his subject.

“Really? Are you an English teacher or something?”

Rick grinned. “Do I really look that smart?”

Kieren was a little flustered. “Well, you could be? I dunno. PE?”

“I did think about it, but no. Shall I tell you?”

Rick took a sip of his drink as Kieren considered. “No, I’d like to guess.”

There was a pause as Kieren ate more of his caramel shortbread and tried his coffee, which was still a little hot for his taste. He tried to remember subjects from school, cycling through them in his mind and trying to pick out the most likely. Rick waited patiently, clearly amused by the impromptu game.

“Is it geography?”

A shake of the head.

“One of the sciences?”

Another shake of the head.

“Maths?”

Rick was grinning now, and shook his head again. “Nope.”

“History?”

“Nope.”

“Technical?”

“Very close.”

Kieren paused, trying to remember the other classes that fell under the Design and Technical umbrella. “Product Design?”

“Yeah,” Rick nodded. “Although I mostly teach Resistant Materials.”

“So woodwork and stuff?”

“Woodwork and stuff,” Rick echoed.

“So what were you buying those things for the other day?” Kieren asked, now even more curious about Rick. His guess that the guy wasn’t an artist was correct, but the subject he taught was by nature very creative.

“I’m making my mum something for Christmas, I wanted to get some paint for it. The metal is just for an idea I had for a gift for one of my co-workers.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Look,” Rick said, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out his phone, unlocking it and opening the gallery. He showed Kieren some pictures of an intricate jewellery tree, made out of the wire that had been bought and decorated with a ribbon bow. Kieren hadn’t thought the wire could be used to make something so beautiful.

“Woah,” Kieren breathed. “Did you really make that?”

“I did,” Rick smiled, looking proud.

“It’s amazing.”

“Thanks.” Rick was still smiling as he put the phone away and took another sip of his coffee, before turning to his slice of cake. “How’s your millionaire’s shortbread?”

“Good, thanks.” It was almost gone.

“Would you like to try some of this?”

“I, uh…”

“I don’t mind. I had something to eat while I was waiting, which wasn’t such a great idea,” Rick explained. “Help yourself if you’d like a bit.”

“Okay, maybe in a minute,” Kieren agreed. The last of his own slice disappeared. He hadn’t eaten anything since lunch time, and even then it had just been a rather plain cheese sandwich. “So, Rick,” he swallowed a little awkwardly, wondering if his next question would disrupt the easy atmosphere that had grown between them. “Are you seeing anyone?”

Rick pressed his lips together, shaking his head as he looked down for a moment. “Nah. You?”

Kieren shook his head. No. He had never dated anyone. Not even once.

“Would you want to?” Rick asked, his tension as he asked the question abundantly evident. It made Kieren’s heart beat that little bit faster as he tried to find a suitable answer to the barely concealed question.

“The right person, yeah.”

From the look in his eyes, it was clear that Rick wanted to ask what the right person might be like, and if it could be him, but he kept his mouth shut, accepting the evasive response.

“So, uh, do you go to university or anything?” Rick eventually asked.

“No,” Kieren shook his head, taking a sip of coffee before elaborating. “I was going to, but then…” For some reason he trusted Rick - with part of the truth, at least. “I got sick. I was in hospital for a while, so it just never happened.”

“I’m sorry,” Rick said sincerely. He was leaning forwards again, clearly interested in what Kieren was saying. “But you’re better now?”

“Yeah, mostly.”

“What were you going to study?”

“Art.”

Rick smiled at that. “Makes sense.”

“It does?”

“Of course. Your sketches were absolutely amazing, you’re obviously very good. Do you think you’ll reapply?”

Kieren paused, looking down. “I… I don’t know.”

“I think you’ll do really well if you decide to go for it.”

Kieren didn’t feel like he deserved Rick’s faith in him. Something painful twisted inside of him.

“You don’t know what was wrong with me.”

“I know, I was just saying,” Rick said gently.

“I tried to kill myself.”

Kieren knew it was unfair to be so blunt, and he hadn’t meant to let Rick know, but in part the admission was a test. He wanted to see where Rick’s kindness and understanding would end. For a moment, the abruptness of his confession clearly caught Rick out, and the guy was speechless, before his expression creased with sadness.

“I don’t know what to say, I’m so sorry,” he said softly, his gaze never shifting away from Kieren. That in itself was odd - people who knew usually tried to avoid acknowledging the issue, feeling far too uncomfortable around it and, by extension, Kieren. He was either stared at like a circus freak or ignored, but Rick did neither. He didn’t flinch away. For a moment his reaction made Kieren want to find something scathing to say, to sting the guy and make him pull away, but he realised that it was pointless. The guy didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of Kieren’s automatic defense mechanism.

“I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry,” Kieren rushed, embarrassed. Rick was too nice to have deserved something like that.

A hand gently came to rest over his own, stilling his fidgeting fingers.

“You don’t need to apologise,” Rick said soothingly. “Ever. I’m not exactly good with that kind of topic, and I know it’s nothing close to the same, but I suffered depression when I was younger, so I know just a tiny bit of what it’s like, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. If you ever want or need to talk, I’ll listen, I promise.”

Kieren looked up, something inside him falling apart. He hadn’t meant to admit that to Rick at all, and a lot of the time he wasn’t sure if he was ashamed about his past or not, but the guy made him feel safe; accepted. It made Kieren want to cry, although he couldn’t tell if it was for joy, relief, or pain - perhaps all three.

Rick’s thumb gently stroked over the back of Kieren’s hand, and Kieren looked down with a barely suppressed sob, blinking tears. One fell into his lap, and Kieren gave a humourless laugh, trying to dig himself out of the situation. “Some date I turned out to be,” he tried to joke.

“Hey, I’m not having a bad time,” Rick countered, clearly picking up on Kieren’s attempt to work the conversation back towards something more lighthearted. “Now if you hadn’t turned up… _that_ would have sucked.”

When Kieren looked up again, Rick gave him an encouraging smile, and nudge the slice of chocolate cake closer with his free hand.

“And this is far too sweet for me. I might die.”

“Melodramatic, much?” Kieren teased, accepting the plate. He pulled his hand back from Rick’s to deal with the slice.

“You should see me when I have the man flu.”

“Should I?”

“No, probably not. I’m an unbearable patient.” Rick grinned, taking another sip of coffee, and then finally taking his hand back from where it still rested on the table.

“Your poor mother,” Kieren teased.

“She’s a saint.”

“She’d have to be to put up with your ugly mug.”

“Ouch,” Rick said, still grinning broadly. Kieren couldn’t help looking at the dimples it caused, feeling himself fall just a little bit in love with the guy opposite him. He felt safe with Rick - even discussing the bad things - and Kieren knew that was rare. He didn’t think he’d ever meet someone as kind and sincere as Rick again.

“Hey, Kieren?” Rick asked, the smile fading. Kieren waited, a little nervously for him to continue. “You know I like you, yeah?”

Kieren managed to give a small nod, the fact still a little hard to swallow. He didn’t say anything, knowing there was more to come.

“But if that’s too much for you, I’m happy for us to just be friends.”

The immediate fear was that Rick was letting him down, and _wanted_ Kieren to go for the ‘just friends’ option so Rick could disappear quietly without much drama, but that was simply Kieren’s own insecurity making him think the worst. The truth was, Rick liked him. Rick _liked_ him. He wanted to be around him, in whatever way Kieren was most comfortable with. The options were there, clearly laid out for him. And he didn’t feel like he had to make an immediate decision.

“I… okay…” he managed, finding a tentative smile. “‘Friends’ sounds good. I don’t have many of those.”

“Everyone else’s loss,” Rick dismissed brightly, smiling again. Kieren looked for the disappointment in Rick’s expression, but it was incredibly hard to find. It was in his eyes - just a hint of sadness belying the fact he’d hoped for a little more than friendship. Kieren wanted it too, and wondered how to make it clear that he wasn’t against the idea.

Their drinks were almost gone, and as Kieren finished the chocolate cake, Rick knocked back the rest of his latte. A few more measured sips, and Kieren’s glass was empty too. He wondered what they were supposed to do now.

“Would you like me to walk you home, or to the bus station or wherever?” Rick offered, still relaxed in his seat and showing no hurry to move.

“My flat’s a ten minute walk.”

“I don’t mind. I could give you a lift if you like?”

Kieren shook his head, laughing a little. “Oh god no. I can tell you how to get there on foot, but traffic directions? Not a chance.”

Rick shared a smile. “Okay, no car then. Would you like company at least part of the way?”

After a pause, Kieren nodded. “Okay.”

“Great!” Rick grinned, shifting to tug his jacket on. Kieren was sorry to see Rick’s body lost beneath the rather bulky jacket, and couldn’t help watching Rick’s fingers as they worked to do the fastenings up. Pulling on his own jacket, Kieren immediately felt too warm.

Again, Rick held the door for him, and also for the young mum entering the coffee shop with a pram. Kieren watched as Rick gave her a smile and a ‘no problem’ in response to her thanks, wondering how someone could be so cheerful and kind. He also wondered how it would feel to properly date the guy - he was already feeling slightly jealous of the attention Rick gave other people, but at the same time he knew that Rick would never be unfaithful.

When Rick returned to his side, they started walking. Rick kept looking up at the Christmas lights.

“I really like the LED ones.”

“They are pretty,” Kieren agreed.

After a few moments of silence, Rick spoke again. “Do you do commissions?”

“What?”

Kieren was already kicking himself for the response, but Rick didn’t seem to have noticed.

“Your sketches - do you take paid requests?”

“Uh, I never really thought about it. Why?”

Rick visibly blushed. “I was wondering what it might cost for you to do a portrait of my mum.”

“Oh…” Kieren took a moment to consider, before he gave a soft chuckle. “Befriending me just to get discounts, huh?”

“That’s not-” Rick started, before he realised he was being teased. He was definitely very sensitive about his mum.

“I’m joking,” Kieren said gently. “And were you seriously just wanting a sketch? I can do full colour in a variety of mediums, or I can do a colour sketch… Anything really.”

“Do you have examples?”

“Yeah, I can dig a few out,” Kieren nodded. It was just starting to sink in that someone wanted to pay for his artwork. He wondered if Rick would like his bigger, more detailed pieces. “I don’t know how much to charge though. Perhaps… could you make me one of those jewellery trees for my sister? As a sort of exchange?”

“Those things don’t take as much time and effort as a portrait,” Rick pointed out. “But sure, I’d love to make one for you. It can be part payment or something.”

“Okay,” Kieren agreed.

“Have a look at the coloured wire in your shop, let me know what colours you’d like, how big, and all that.”

“How long do you need to make it?” Kieren asked, walking a little closer to Rick’s side. They’d had to pass a man walking in the opposite direction, and he hadn’t moved away after giving the passer-by room.

“I did that one in two days, so not long. How about you?”

“It depends on what you want, but two or three weeks?”

“Her birthday is in January, that could work.”

Rick looked at Kieren, giving him a smile. Kieren felt reassured by it, but it also made his heart skip a beat. He’d found someone endlessly kind and so incredibly easy to be around, who was not only handsome and good-natured, but also liked Kieren. He didn’t know how it had happened. By rights it shouldn’t have, but it had, and now they were walking so close to each other Kieren’s hand kept brushing against the back of Rick’s, and Rick’s against his. Something was slowly building in the minimal distance between them - a charged heat that made Kieren’s heart thud loudly in his chest and his skin prickle. And Rick seemed to feel it too. Their steps faltered as they both became more focused on the space between them, and Kieren felt almost dizzy with the urge to just do it - to just shift his hand that extra inch and take Rick’s hand. Rick’s fingers twitched, as if he was struggling with the same desire, but he didn’t do it.

In the end, it was Kieren who made the move. Barely able to breathe, he slipped his hand into Rick’s, tightening his grip enough to show that the unmistakeable move was definitely intentional. Rick immediately squeezed Kieren’s hand in return, and then all of a sudden they were both laughing. It was so stupid, Kieren thought, laughter spilling from within him. They had stopped walking and were looking at each other, both clearly relieved. It was such a schoolboy thing to be worked up over, and something so damn small in the grand scheme of things - yet to Kieren it was a huge step. It obviously meant the same to Rick too, or he wouldn’t be grinning and laughing too.

“I’m so glad you did that,” Rick breathed, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.

“Yeah, me too,” Kieren sighed. “Are you okay with it?”

“More than okay,” Rick beamed. He glanced in the direction they’d been walking. “Shall we?”

Kieren was about to agree, but before he could open his mouth, he surprised even himself by launching himself at Rick, his free arm wrapping around the guy’s neck as he hugged him tightly. Rick gave a laugh, which Kieren felt vibrate through his body, and then returned the embrace with one arm, his other hand still tightly holding Kieren’s.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Rick chuckled, clearly surprised. Kieren didn’t know what he was doing, and hastily made to pull away, but Rick’s arm held him tightly. “Woah, don’t let go until you want to.”

Kieren relaxed a fraction, pressing his face into the collar of Rick’s jacket. He didn’t entirely understand what he was doing, but it felt like it stemmed from gratitude.

“What if I never want to let go?” he mumbled.

“Well we might get a bit cold. And then hungry. And then warm and wet for a few seconds.”

Kieren gave a short laugh at Rick’s humour, and struggled to make himself pull away. It didn’t happen.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled.

“What for?” Rick asked, sounding genuinely confused. “You don’t have to apologise for anything.”

“I’m being so clingy.”

“Hey, I’m taking it as a compliment,” Rick said. “Just means I’m worth clinging on to. Besides, hugs are nice. I don’t get enough of them.”

Kieren relaxed a little, and was aware of the fact that Rick was pressing his cheek against his shoulder in a very familiar, very comforting way. It made him smile a little.

“Want to be my exclusive hugger?” Rick asked, his voice warm and gentle against Kieren’s ear. He tried not to shiver at the rich tone and inviting words.

“Yeah, okay,” he breathed, now truly understanding what people meant when they said they’d ‘hit it off’ with someone. Did it feel this amazing and this right for everyone?

Rick gave a low murmur, chuckling softly. “I’m so glad I came back to ask you out.”

“Me too,” Kieren agreed, finally pulling away. Rick let him go, and the two of them stood for a moment, holding hands and smiling at each other.

“Come on, let me walk you home,” Rick suggested, easing them back into walking. After a few paces, he spoke again. “Do you want to go on another date?”

“Yeah,” Kieren hastily nodded. “Did you have something in mind?”

“Perhaps…” Rick said, clearly thinking. “Are you free on the weekend?”

“I have Sunday off next weekend.”

“Hm, okay… I was just thinking… I know that we don’t know that much about each other, or what we like, so how about you come round to mine on Sunday, or I come round to yours, and we bring two of our favourite albums, three or four or our favourite films, and… do you want to be main or dessert?”

“How do you mean?”

“Maybe it should just be takeaway…” Rick said, more to himself. The pieces fell into place, and Kieren grinned.

“Well my favourite meal is roast lamb, so perhaps a takeaway is better.”

“Okay, there are a lot of good places nearby anyway. Hey, how about we bring a favourite drink each, and snacks? You’re not allergic to anything are you?”

“No. And alcoholic or not?”

“Oh, I was meaning Pepsi, stuff like that. Okay, one soft drink, one alcoholic?”

“Sounds good,” Kieren agreed, smiling. “So, my place or yours?”

“What are you more comfortable with?”

Kieren considered for a moment. He didn’t think much of his own flat, and he had a flatmate. “Probably yours. My flatmate will probably be in, and the place is kinda tiny. Do you live alone?”

“Yeah, I do. You okay to do it this weekend?”

Kieren nodded. “I’d be okay to do it now.”

Rick smiled at that, pressing subtly closer. “Me too. I have work first thing though, so a movie marathon probably isn’t such a great idea.”

“I’ve got work too,” Kieren admitted. Glancing up, he realised he was almost at his flat, a slowed his pace, coming to a halt outside the heavy wooden door. “This is me,” he explained unnecessarily.

Rick looked up at the flat door, giving a nod. “It didn’t seem like that far.”

“No,” Kieren agreed. He was reluctant to let go of Rick’s hand.

“You’ve got my number?” Rick asked. Kieren nodded.

“Yeah, I’ve not put it in my phone yet. Shall I put mine in yours?”

“Go on then,” Rick said, digging his phone out while very noticeably not letting go of Kieren’s hand. He unlocked it and passed it over. A few seconds later, Keiren gave it back, and Rick gave the number a missed call. Kieren tried not to flinch as the phone’s vibrating alert tickled him.

“There, now you definitely have my number,” Rick smiled. “Would you like to meet up again before the weekend? For another coffee or something?”

“Uh, I could,” Kieren considered. “Can I treat you next time?”

“Of course,” Rick said warmly, not a hint of discomfort at the idea showing.

“What about Friday? I can dig out some examples of my art too.”

“That would be amazing.”

Kieren couldn’t help smiling. “Okay. Uhm, meet me at the Costa at the same time?”

“Got you. I’ll let you know if anything comes up,” Rick promised.

“Same,” Kieren nodded. He looked down at their hands, knowing he’d have to pull away. It almost hurt to think about it, and about the wait between now and Friday. But at least there would be a next time. He still worried that Rick might disappear, but there the guy was honest. If he said he’d be there, Kieren believed him - it was just his own doubts and insecurities getting to him.

Slowly, he hugged Rick again, this time withdrawing his hand as he did.

“Thank you for such a great time,” he said softly, wishing he had half as much power in his voice as Rick did.

Rick’s arms encircled him, a hand resting gently at the nape of his neck, gently stroking Keiren’s hair. “Same. You’re amazing company. Thank you.”

They were silent, standing in a tight embrace, for a few moments longer, until they pulled apart at some unuttered cue.

“I’ll see you Friday,” Rick said with a smile, pulling back a pace.

“Yeah, see you then,” Kieren nodded, digging his keys out. Getting the door open, he turned and gave Rick a small wave and a smile, and then stepped over the threshold.

 _Well that happened_ , he thought, grinning broadly to himself as he closed the door behind him. Taking a few seconds to gather himself, Kieren took the stairs two at a time, rushing into his flat and into the living room, trying to catch sight of Rick before he disappeared from view.

The guy was walking slowly, head down as he walked away. As he straightened his hands returned to his pockets and he turned, looking towards Kieren’s building. Even from this distance Kieren could tell he was smiling. A moment later, the phone in Kieren’s pocket vibrated, and he quickly dug it out, reading the text:

‘Thank you so much for today. Can’t wait for the weekend. Rick. x’

Kieren couldn’t wait either.

**Author's Note:**

> Just Kieren the fact he tried to kill himself, and implied mental health issues (mention of hospitalisation). Kieren's also so mean to himself.


End file.
